Let us suppose that you wake one morning to find that poachers have been on your shoot. They've taken everything from eggs, poults or hens and had a go at destroying your pens too. Your keeper is only part-time and you spend most of your working week living in the city.
What action would you take to combat the problem?
So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the shooting season is over. Put your guns back in their sleeves, pick up your spent cartridges and finish off the sloe gin. That's your lot.
Sportspeople around the country might have felt a little cheated at the fact that February 1 fell on a Sunday this year, but there again, there are 150-ish days in a season, so surely one less won't hurt.
Of course, there is still duck and goose shooting to be had until February 20, but what are we all to do with ourselves until the time comes to get the shotgun cleaned and our eyes in ready for next August.
Well, the FA Cup is about to open its quarter final stage (there are also still four months of the football and rugby season to go-ish), the Six Nations is just around the corner and Wimbledon will soon be upon us too. So, it's not all bad.
Me? I'll be hoping to purchase a shotgun at the CLA and take a few more private days than was possible this term. Although, with the prospect of Premiership football with the City next season, will I have to choose between high pheasants in Devon or watching the boys play Chelsea away?
The agony of choice.
I've been at Shooting Gazette for two and a half years this month, and so far, when I've been reporting out in the field things have gone more or less according to plan. Last weekend's trip to the north west tip of Anglesey was no different, but I must say that I've tripped myself up a few times too. So, what's my advice to anyone hoping to carve a career as a sporting writer? Here are some of the faux pas I've committed in the past. Learn from me, please.
DO
1.
Before setting off, make sure that if you are using a Sat Nav, you know that it's on the right setting. Why did I go clockwise around Birmingham from Stamford to get to Anglesey when I could have just cut across Melton towards Kegworth and the A50? Fool.
2.
When using a car, take a CD of your favourite recording artist, an audio book or choose a radio station which is broadcasting a sports event like a football match. (Listening to commercial radio DJs for five hours almost led me to turn around at the Severn Bridge before I drove off it).
3.
Take a strong drink from your host once you arrive.
4.
Make as much conversation with your host/fellow guns as you can as soon as you arrive, the nerves will fall off you like a poorly made suit. Make sure you are also not wearing such a garment.
5.
Trust your host's directions - they know the area better than you. Why do laps of the village when someone with a torch is waving you in?
DON'T
1.
Refuse the offer of more than one glass of 1966 port. You won't be seeing it again, silly.
2.
Constantly check that the tape recorder and camera are fully charged when you know they are, and have been for an hour.
3.
Forget to call the good lady to let her know you are there safe. You know why.
4.
Say no to an extra sausage at the break - they will be calling at you through the tin all the way through the rest of the day. Sometimes late at night I can still hear them stewing.
5.
Make a complete idiot of yourself when alighting from the gun bus. You're not in the army, so why the SAS style leap?
Surprised and great to see the BBC produce a programme like Kill It, Cook It, Eat, which opened up game to a wider audience and also illustrated the reasons why people shoot.
The programme was presented and produced in a manner which challenged both sides of the shooting arguement, and perhaps most importantly, not once did it portray the shooting community in a bad light - unlike some of the nation's advertisers.
There were emotional and tense moments on both sides, and both were pressed on the hard questions of why or why they didn't agree with the shooting of animals. Good.
So well done BBC, let us hope that this is start of more programmes which show shooting in a positive light.
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